Read these 18 Speed Dating Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Date tips and hundreds of other topics.
During a speed dating event, too many people pretend to be someone they are not in hopes of getting more people interested in them, and more dates. They may get more dates, but they will be wasting everyone's time. Think about it this way: if you want to find someone to be with for the long haul, they need to like you for who you are. Communicate who you are from the very first date, and you'll not only find someone, you'll find the RIGHT someone.
A common misconception of dating services is that they are filled with desperate people. Remember this -- people who seek out a dating service are taking control of their love life. Today, dating over the internet and events like speed dating are becoming more and more common because the demands of modern life often inhibit our ability to meet new people and form new relationships. Speed dating, rather than being an activity of the desperate, is instead an accepted way for busy people to meet each other.
You're on a speed date. You feel the urge to flirt. What will you do? What will you do?? It's great to be friendly and open and show your interest in the person you are speed-dating. But don't forget to use your precious 10 minutes wisely. Ask those all-important questions that will help you discover your common interests with the person across the table. Basically, give clear signals. If you are interested, it's okay to flirt (within reason). And if you aren't, be polite and friendly, but don't take that extra flirtatious step!
The question shouldn't be, "What should I talk about on a speed date?" Instead ask, "How can I listen better?" You should go into each speed date with a few questions that you'd like to ask, but then let the conversation flow from there. You'll learn a lot more listening to the other person than talking his or her ear off. Don't try and give or glean all the details in a single meeting, either -- leave at least a few surprises for later in the relationship.
There are a lot of speed dating services out there, so you may have trouble deciding which one to choose. Here are a few factors to consider when narrowing down the list. 1. Size -- If you don't like crowds, a smaller speed dating event may be the ticket. Some services limit the number of people to 24 with meeting times as short at six minutes. 2. Location -- Speed dating events take place at a variety of venues – so select a service that has events at a place you like. You'll probably meet like-minded singles, which is the whole point! 3. People -- Who is going to these events? If you want to meet other young professionals, find a service that will introduce you to other young professionals. Find your niche – it will make speed dating more fun and you're more likely to meet someone compatible. 4. Price – See how much the event costs and select one in your price range.
Speed dating means you are going to meet a lot of people, so you want to make a good first impression. Obviously make sure you are freshly showered and that you have brushed your teeth. And when dressing for the big event, dress nicely. Remember, you aren't going clubbing, but you aren't going to work, either. So select an outfit that tells people a little about your personality and interests. The most important speed dating tip: don't try to look like someone you aren't. Be who you are, quirks and all.
Different people date in different ways, and you have to decide if speed dating works for you. If you had one speed dating experience and found it unsatisfying, try to figure out what you didn't like about it. If you didn't enjoy the format -- too rushed, too many people -- speed dating may not be for you. If you didn't like the people or the setting (or were just having a bad day), you should probably give speed dating another try. Look around at the speed dating options in your area to find a session that you might enjoy.
If you're new to speed dating, you may not know what to ask or how to act. Remember, you only have 10 minutes, so ask questions that will give you some insight into the person you are meeting. Start with the basics: What do you do? Where are you from?What brought you to speed dating? What do you like to do for fun? See if you have any interests in common and if you feel comfortable talking with this person. Also, if you have 'deal breakers' -- like smoking or drinking -- ask about those, too. You don't want to waste each other's time. In the end, trust yourself and try to remember to have fun!
Ready to enter the speed dating fast lane? One of the easiest ways to find speed dating events is online. Just hop onto Google or Yahoo and type in "speed dating" with the name of the city in which you live. You can also try an online dating service, such as Cupid.com, that holds speed dating events. Use these online tools to try speed dating at a time and place that's convenient for you. If you feel really nervous, ask a friend to come along! You won't spend a lot of time with your friend, but you'll have someone to compare notes at the end of the evening.
When you're on a speed date, you are bombarded by a massive amount of personal information within a very short period of time. This can be a bit overwhelming, especially when you're trying to choose which person you'd like to see again. Since you only have a few minutes, focus on the basics -- what the person's life seems like, and whether or not he or she is happy with it. In the end, the success or failure of the date will depend on the little things that the other person does or says -- just like in a normal dating situation.
Everybody prepares for dates in different ways, but the unique structure of speed dating demands that you at least have some idea of your dating preferences. Before you go into the session, develop an idea of your likes and dislikes. It may help to make a list -- write down personality quirks that annoy you and any potential "deal breakers" -- traits or habits that you would never want to find in a person you date. If any of your speed dates display these traits, then you can quickly eliminate them as viable companions. It also helps to compile a short mental list of positive traits, either things that you like, or things that you would like to experience when dating. Remember, it never hurts to be a little adventurous.
Speed dating is meant to 'speed up' the process of meeting new people; it's not meant to replace the entire dating cycle. Think of your initial speed date as an icebreaker and first meeting. You now know a little bit about the person and have a basic idea of whether or not you'd like to see him or her again. If you are serious about continuing to date someone that you have met through speed dating, contact them promptly after your information has been exchanged and set up a second date. Try to make the date low impact -- something light and fun where you can talk to the person and get to know them.
You've completed your first speed dating experience; what happens next? If you've used a reputable speed dating service, you should get your results within 24 hours. Then you'll be staring at email addresses and trying to figure out your next step. Suggest meeting for a drink or a casual event that will take some of the pressure off of you both. If you both went to the speed dating event with friends, suggest a non-speed dating reunion at a local bar where you can hang out and laugh over your shared experience.
The very nature of speed dating can create stress -- you have to convince people to like you in 10 minutes or less. To eliminate that stress, you have to approach speed dating with the right mindset. Don't think of it as "your only chance" or a "single opportunity." View the speed dating event as something fun -- an absurd yet efficient way to meet new people, and possibly meet that very special someone. If you can laugh at the idea of speed dating, you can take the pressure off of you. Then you can enjoy the experience, and hopefully work your way successfully through all of your dates.
Are you single, hoping to meet someone special, but would rather skip the whole bar routine? Speed dating may be an option. Here's how it works: Interested men and women gather at a predetermined spot. While the women sit at individual tables, the men rotate in 10 minute intervals until they have met and talked to every woman in the room. At the end of the evening, you let the event organizer know which people you are interested in seeing again, and the organizer distributes contact information. What you decide to do next is up to you!
Speed dating is all about first impressions, so appearance is especially important. You need to look your best and be clean and well groomed. Find out where the event is being held and match your dress to their code -- dress up for a fancy restaurant, dress more casually for a bar. Remember, a speed dating event is not the place to try out a new hairstyle or fashion. You want to look your best, but you still want to look like you.
The beautiful thing about speed dating is that the feedback is swift and sure. Within a few days of the event, speed daters who expressed interest will be given each other's contact information. But there are ways to judge whether or not a speed date went well before you receive the official feedback. If there is mingling after the event, you can talk more with people who interested you; if they respond, chances are the date went well. During the date, gauge their interest by the questions they ask and their body language. If they look bored, they probably are.
A bad date is hard; a bad speed date is harder because you have to date again in a matter of seconds! First things first: if you have a bad speed date, relax. Take a deep breath. And move on to the next date. Think of it as a fresh start and have fun. Remember, one of the advantages of speed dating is that bad dates don't have to last all night. If you do have an entire evening of bad speed dating, take a step back and ask yourself: What could have improved? Check your speed dating company's website for tips on how to get the most from your next experience. Remember that much of a dating experience is beyond your control -- you can only regulate your own actions and reactions.