Read these 7 Personal Ads Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Date tips and hundreds of other topics.
Ready to dive into the dating pool? Online personals are an excellent way to get your feet wet. Almost all major online dating sites allow you to create and post personal ads and photo personals, often for free to give you a taste of their dating services. One of the major bonuses of online personals is they reach a larger audience. Online personals also often have pre-set matching criteria, allowing you to quickly establish which users share your activities and interests. Online personals sites provide safe and efficient communication with other posters. If you are interested in someone, you can contact them in only a few mouse clicks.
Personal ads combine both passive and proactive forms of dating. They are proactive because they force you not only to build an ad and evaluate yourself, but also to hone your ideas of who you would ideally date. You are also putting yourself out there -- you can't get more proactive than that! Personal ads are also passive – in a good way – because they allow people to come to you. In a sense, online dating is a screening process, as you only have to deal with those who express interest in you. It is also non-aggressive; you don't come on as unpleasantly intense or desperate.
Even when you've known someone since childhood, dating can go horribly wrong. So if you choose to use online personal ads, take extra precautions to insure your safety. Create a new email address for your personal ad responses. Leave out personal details like your last name, workplace, home address and telephone number; do not give out this information until you met your date and trust him or her. When selecting a venue for your first meeting, choose a public place -- like a restaurant or café -- and arrive separately. Tell friends when and where you are going; you might ask a friend to call or even join you during the date.
A good personal ad will generate a few quick, genuine responses; a poor one will either generate none at all or the wrong kind of responses. If your personal ad isn't working for you, don't wait; change it! Look at other people's profiles – what things do they include that elicit strong responses from you? Consider including similar details in your ad or use photo personals. Remember, with dating comes experience. Over time, you will learn which of your personal traits to highlight and what you are looking for in a dating partner. Update your personal ad regularly to reflect this progression.
Can a personal ad tell you everything you need to know about another person? The simple answer is that it can't. Personal ads allow us to share a little bit about ourselves, but they don't tell the whole story. The only thing that really shows through in a personal ad is any extreme difference in interests; for example, if you love running and one of your responders hates exercise, you might want to let that person go). Use your instincts to read between the lines. Does the person sound fun? Interesting? Needy? Kind? Strong? The best that you can do is form a general impression and then take the plunge – you'll never really get to know someone until you go out on a date!
So, you've received responses to your personal ad! Take some time to consider before you reply. Remember to approach them with an open mind. Don't immediately discard people who do not match your interests; remember the old saying, “opposites attract." Think of these offers as opportunities to learn something new. If something seems a little strange about someone's response, it's probably best to just be cautious. Overall, give the responses you receive the benefit of the doubt. Trust your instincts; in the end they will make the best relationship decisions for you.
Your fingers are posed on the keyboard to write your personal ad. What do you include: First things first: be truthful. A false personal ad will generate false results. As for the actual content of your ad, it depends on the nature and size of the forum. Personals placed in newspapers and magazines are usually short, with only a few lines of text, while personals placed online are usually longer and more detailed. Spend some time thinking about the content of your ad – you want it to be both succinct and meaningful. Be precise about who you are and what you are looking for. Make sure that you keep your expectations and self-assessments realistic. Last but not least, post a picture – people have to actually see you if you want to generate results.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|