Read these 21 Teen Dating Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Date tips and hundreds of other topics.
A first kiss is very special; you remember it rest of your life. That knowledge puts pressure on both people involved. You want it to be perfect but, chances are, it won't be...and that's okay. It will still be special. Here are some suggestions for making that first kiss the best it can be. 1. Be confident. It's not that difficult. 2. Relax. It's harder to kiss when you are tense. 3. Make eye contact first. 4. Don't make it too long or too short. 5. Don't be aggressive. 6. When you are finished, smile!
1) The person you are dating deserves respect
2) A good dating partner is upbeat and positive
3) Never force your date to do something he or she doesn't want to do
4) A date that is planned is often more successful than a date that is thrown together at the last moment
5) If you are dating one person exclusively, be faithful--trust is the foundation of all relationships
6) Ask questions to learn more about the person you are dating
7) Never ever let someone talk you into violating your own principles
8) Be comfortable with yourself. You cannot be good at dating if you don't believe in yourself.
Kissing means different things to different people. So before you pucker up and smooch on your first date, be certain you know what kissing means to you. You might also ask yourself why you want to kiss your date -- is it because you feel that form of affection for him or her? Or is it because you feel pressure from society to make that move? Remember, kissing sends a message to your date who may interpret that kiss in a way you did not intend.
You know girls want you to talk to them. But what do girls NOT want you to do during conversation? To start, a guy who talks only about himself and his own interests is an immediate turn-off. Conversation is a two-way street, and a girl likes a guy who asks questions and is interested in her life. At the same time, girls like guys who have the confidence to talk to them; too often guys simply don't 'step up' and enter a conversation with a girl they like. And last but certainly not least, don't talk about other girls or past girlfriends with a girl you've just met. That can send conflicting messages.
The first step to being a great conversationalist is to be an even better listener. That edict is even more true when it comes to teenage girls. Why? Teenage girls are some of the best communicators in life. They have amazing friendships where they share all their thoughts, hopes, dreams and secrets. If you truly listen to what the girl of your dreams is saying, you'll have hundreds of topics for discussion the next time you two have some quiet time alone to talk. Give her your attention, show her you care by talking about things that matter to her and really listen to her answers. That's the kind of guy that girls like...a lot.
Have you ever been the object of someone's obsession? We all have at one time or another. Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel? Keep that feeling top of mind the next time you find yourself going gaa-gaa over a girl. It may just keep you from doing the kind of obsessive things that send girls running in the opposite direction. If you really like the girl, it's okay to show your interest, but don't go crazy. Get to know her before you ask her out so that you don't scare her away.
There's an old adage that says, "Good things come to those who wait." That doesn't necessarily apply to asking out girls on dates. If you wait too long to ask out a girl, she may accept a date from someone else and already be in a relationship by the time you get the nerve to ask her. Remember that girls respond positively to confidence. If you display the self-confidence to step up and ask out the girl -- even if you are nervous about doing so -- you will earn her respect (and hopefully a "yes" to your request!).
What if your boyfriend knows how to kiss, and you never have? (I mean, he is a pro!) Kissing is something that can be learned quickly. If your date is that good at it, he can teach you. There is nothing wrong with telling him that this is new to you, and you are interested in learning how to get better. If your date really likes you, he'll take the time and show you. They will be the funniest lessons you have ever had! (Ask for extra credit, too...)
If you like a girl and want to make a good impression, don't quote poems or song lyrics or someone else's lines. Speak from your heart. If you're really nervous at the thought of talking to a girl you like, practice a few lines to get started...and then let the conversation flow from there by truly listening to what she says. And remember -- it isn't the words you say that will make a girl like you. The way you treat her and those around you will have a more lasting impact.
Dating during the teen years, while exciting, can also be a little scary. Many teenagers want to begin dating but they are uncomfortable with the idea of dating one-on-one. The best way to overcome this problem is to date in groups. This creates a low pressure environment where neither date has to do all the talking; their friends are there to help! Group dates are also a big hit with parents, who tend to let teenagers start dating earlier if they travel in packs.
You like her. She likes you. The next logical step is to ask her to be your girlfriend. So, how do you go about it? Girls are flattered when boys get creative when they pop the 'girlfriend' question, so give the matter some thought. You could send her a romantic letter. You could wire candy or chocolates with a note attached. You could take her to a play or a movie and ask her during intermission. Or you could simply ask her in person, presenting a small gift as a token and a memory of your special day.
What does kissing mean to you? Does it mean commitment? Passion? Is it just for fun? Chances are, kissing means something different to everyone you ask. So when you are dating, never assume that kissing means the same thing to your date as it does to you. Some people expect a kiss on the first date; others (who take kissing more seriously) would rather wait until much later in the relationship. Whenever you do kiss, be prepared for the consequences, good or bad.
The mystery of the female species is not easily solved...but there are a few clues that can make solving the mystery more fun. First, girls like boys that express an interest in their likes and dislikes. Ask her questions. Listen to her answers. Perhaps even choose a restaurant or an activity for your first date based on something that she has told you in conversation. She will appreciate your attention. Secondly, manners did not go out when equality came in. So open the door for her and be polite. Last but not least, compliment her. Chances are, she deserves it anyway.
Do you find your mind going blank when faced with conversation with the opposite sex? The first thing you should tell yourself is: relax. If you feel pressured to say the right thing, you probably won't. Talk about current events, things he likes, things you like (i.e. music, sports, what you did this summer, what he did this summer, your friends, his friends, movies, etc). If you still cannot relax, try figuring out why. You could even talk to your boyfriend about your problem; together you might figure out the solution!
There is a lot of pressure on teenagers in our society to have sex; as a result, many decide go ahead and to take the plunge. Unfortunately, many of those same teenagers regret doing so afterwards. Whatever you decide, never let someone else make that choice for you. If you don't want to have sex, don't. Sex is a very intimate thing. If pushed, forced, or controlled, sex is never right.
Sex is the most powerful way to connect to another person; however, along with sex comes great responsibility. Sex tells someone how much you care about them and how committed you are to one another. It is very difficult to give oneself fully to another person during the teen years. Also, waiting to have sex shows you are in control of your body. It is easy to give in to pleasures like sex, but there is great pleasure in learning to control yourself.
You want to go steady; she does not. What are you doing wrong? The answer is, probably nothing at all. Sometimes girls don't want to date seriously because they aren't ready for that type of commitment. They either aren't that interested in the first place or they want to wait until they are older to get serious. If you can talk with her about this issue, you will get a better feel for what her real reason is. Regardless of the reason, respect her answer.
When we are teenagers, we often depend on passing messages through our friends or notes to talk to a member of the opposite sex. Unfortunately, anytime you use a middle man, there is a chance your message will be garbled or mistranslated. Talk to the girl yourself. If you need to, confer with her friends first to find out what she likes, what interests her, and when might be a good time to talk...and then do the talking yourself. Begin with friendly conversation. By being confident, being yourself and being interested in her, you will earn the honest affection of the girl that you currently like from afar.
What are your personal boundaries? Everyone answers that question a little bit differently. And when you consider personal boundaries and dating, the differences are even greater. However, there are a few boundaries that most people have in common. For instance, most people don't have sex on a first date. (In fact, most don't even kiss on the first date.) Research has discovered that people with similar personal boundaries are more likely to date each other. So stick to your boundaries when you date; you may just find the person of your dreams.
Do any of the following statements describe you or your daughter since you/she began dating?
1. Before my daughter met her boyfriend, she had more friends than she does now.
2. Her grades have declined in recent weeks or months.
3. She used to be more outgoing and involved with her family, school activities, and/or place of worship.
4. She frequently cries or is very sad.
5. If he pages her, she must call him back immediately.
6. He told her that he loved her early in their relationship.
7. He is jealous if she looks at or speaks casually with another boy.
8. He accuses her of doing things she hasn't actually done.
9. He is aggressive in other areas of his life: he puts his fist through walls or closets, bands his fist to make a point, or throws objects when angry.
10. He frequently roughhouses or play-wrestles with her.
11. She makes excuses for his poor behavior or says it's her fault.
12. He has a "tragic" home life: he is or was physically abused or verbally demeaned, and/or one oor both parents are alcoholics or use drugs.
If you answered "yes" to more than four of the statements, consider seeking counsel from someone you trust. This relationship may be wrong for your (or your daughter).
Teenagers can't wait to grow up...and that includes becoming 'serious' with their boyfriends and girlfriends. But, in later life, those same people often regret that they didn't date more people before the got married and settled down. Date a lot of people while you are young. You meet a lot of very different people and learn the great thing about those differences. You will never regret dating a lot of people when you get older...but you may regret dating just one or two people while you were a teenager.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|