Dating Tips
Read these 32 Dating Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Date tips and hundreds of other topics.
Lighten Up
We worry too much about dating. We worry about everything from talking too much to whether our boy/girlfriend really likes us. If you worry too much or have little confidence in your dating skills, lighten up!
1) Be kind to everyone. This will create success because everyone likes being around kind people.
2) Be upbeat! No one likes to be around someone who is constantly negative.
3) If someone likes you, expect them to treat you with respect and warmth. If they don't, don't waste your precious dating years on someone who is going to abuse you.
Remember, people are attracted to people who calm, centered and happy. And if you act that way, you will begin to feel that way!
Cleanliness and Attire
The impression you leave on a date begins the moment you see each other. Even before you speak your first words, your date has made judgments based on what he/she sees. That is why your appearance, cleanliness and clothing are so important on a date. Making a misstep in these three categories can negate any other positive thing you do during the remainder of the date. It is better to ensure that you have showered and are appropriately dressed than to hurry to avoid being late. If you need to, make a phone call and delay...but look nice for your date. It shows you care.
Don't Rush A Relationship
When you like someone, it's often tempting to rush in and shower him or her with affection, gifts, phone calls and all your time and attention. Unfortunately, this extreme focus can be too much too soon and might scare away the person. Rein in your enthusiasm and try to let the relationship grown and develop on its own. Don't try to do everything; let your dating partner initiate some things as well. You'll find it's rather nice to be on the receiving end of some of that attention and affection, too.
A Flower On The Second Date?
Bring a flower or two on a second date. It will show your date that you have been looking forward to it.
1) A couple of casual flowers, such as carnations or daisies would be great!
2) Try to stay away from red roses till you have seen each other for awhile.
3)You can even give one flower with some leaves and baby's breath with a ribbon!
Dating Tips: Being Attentive
The simplest way to convey interest on a date is listening. Listening is incredibly important for any successful dating experience. Not only will you actually learn something about the person you are dating, they will feel both desired and interesting. Listening goes way beyond merely "looking interested." You have to be attentive to what your date is saying. You should ask questions, and occasionally chime in with your own anecdotes. This way you will seem both attentive and interesting.
Dating Resolutions
Most people start the new year with a list of resolutions. It's a nice way to start fresh, to start anew. As you begin a new relationship, consider making some dating resolutions so that your new relationship can have a fresh start, too. Some resolutions to consider include:
1) I will listen more than I talk.
2) I will be more positive.
3) If I criticize my partner, I will show an increase in love afterwards.
4) I will be more patient.
5) I will be loyal to my partner.
Why Sex Should Be Last
It's the $64,000 question: when should a couple have sex? The answer is probably a bit different for every couple. But at the 2001 Smart Marriage conference, Dr. John VanEpp recommended the following sequence of events, which applies to all couples considering a serious relationship.
1. Know--you must know someone before you get too serious with them. You must know about their family, their habits, their values and their lifestyle.
2. Trust--When you start knowing someone, you begin to trust them more. Trust is something that should be earned and not easily given.
3. Rely--Once you know someone and you trust them, you can start relying on them.
4. Commit--Once we know, trust, and rely on someone, we can then make a stronger commitment to them. That is why the marriage commitment is so important.
5. Sex--Finally, sex. If you start off with sex, you have started in the wrong place. In order for a relationship to be healthy, you MUST know each other, you must trust each other, you must rely upon each other, and you must be committed to each other. It is at this point, and only at this point, that sex is wise and healthy.
Dating Tips: Conversation
Here are a few dating tips for conversation. Start small. You can't come charging into a date with both conversational barrels blazing – heavy topics like life and politics should come later in the conversation. Begin by simply asking about her or his day. Listen to what your date has to say, and take turns directing the conversation. The point of the date is to get to know the other person; don't try to rush anything. If in-depth topics come up, good; if they don't, don't worry. Hopefully they'll surface during another date. Remember, remain true to your opinions -- don't browbeat the person, but don't agree for the sake of agreeing either.
A Few Do's & Don'ts
DO NOT call and ask for a date for the same day.
DO plan interactive activities on a first date to get to know the person better. (Translation: no movies).
DO NOT be late for a date.
DO plan dates in different environments to see how your partner responds to a variety of situations.
DO NOT talk about yourself the whole night--find out more about your date.
DO kiss on the first date if the feeling moves you! Be spontaneous.
Do NOT forget to give a tip to your waiter if you go out to eat.
Asking Out In Advance
Often, when we want to ask someone out on a date, we get excited and ask for that every evening! We don't mean to be rude; we're just excited! But it makes it appear that we think our date is just sitting at home, waiting to be asked out. If you do want to ask someone out, give him/her some advance notice. Don't put added pressure on by asking right before you want to go out. Even if they want to go out with you but have other plans, it makes it confusing and mixed messages are sent. Show respect for the person and his/her schedule by giving plenty of advance notice -- a week minimum. That way, you'll have lots of time to plan a special night.
Beyond Attraction
Attraction is very important in every dating relationship; in fact, most individuals say that attraction is the reason they sought out their dating partner for the first date. But once attraction has been established, other key factors come into play. Consider the following questions. Does this person talk openly with me? Can I share my thoughts with him/her? Does he/she care about what I am doing? Does this person respect me and my desires? Does this person push me to do things I am uncomfortable with? Remember, attraction is only one of many elements of a successful relationship. Make sure your relationship has more than just attraction to survive.
Just Say It
The first date went GREAT! Now you're sitting at home, waiting. Ask yourself this question: what are you waiting for? Did someone tell you -- a friend, an aunt, an article in a popular magazine -- that you should wait a certain number of days to call? Or did it say you shouldn't call at all? This type of advice treats dating as a game and treats your date as a game piece instead of a human being. If you want to go on another date, say so. Don't just sit at home waiting and hoping that he or she will call. Take the initiative, give 'em a call and end the suspense! You'll be on date number two before you know itl.
Don't Lead Me On
It's surprising how much damage can be done by people who are trying to be nice. If you are dating someone who you like as a friend, and you know that person has much stronger feelings about you, don't think that the 'nice' thing to do is to continue to date them without explanation. That would be leading the person on -- intentionally or unintentionally. Always let the person know the extent of your feelings. You are not being nice when you pretend; you will both be better off when you are honest. Their time will not be wasted, and their feelings will be honored.
What Signs Will Tell Me If A Person Is Who They Say They Are?
Are there any signs that indicate a person isn`t really who they say they are? Yes! There are many clues that you should be on the lookout for, including: 1. How is this person in public? Is he/she different in private? If you are seeing two differnt people, watch out. 2. How do they respond under pressure or stress? Situations such as these will often relieve a person's true colors. 3. Are they fairly predictable?Observe them with others and in as many different situations as possible. If they are the same 80 percent of the time, that is their dominant character. If they are unpredictable, you should be concerned. 4. How do they treat their family? You will be part of the family if you marry him/her. He/she will probably treat you how he/she treats his/her family. Keep your eyes open for good and bad behavior traits and never ignore the negative ones because you think you are in love.
Sharing Your Feelings
Not everyone is comfortable sharing their feelings with their dating partner; it's a tendency that can be traced back to childhood. If your girlfriend or boyfriend's family were not big 'sharers' of their feelings, chances are your date won't be comfortable sharing his or her feelings with you. Regardless of your date's family history, the best way to begin the process is with baby steps. Start by sharing each other's day. Talk about your plans and activities. Then transition into your feelings about those activities -- a less threatening thing to share -- before moving into your more innermost feelings and thoughts. Over time, the two of you may feel comfortable sharing thoughts about each other -- qualities you like, elements of your relationship you like or want to change, and how much you love each other.
Be You--Don't Be Fake
Wouldn't it be great to be someone else? We often pretend to be other people when we are first dating someone. We want them to like us so much that we act like what we think is a better version of ourselves. It's a dangerous game. Don't be fake with the person you are going out with. Be yourself even if you think they will like you more if you act differently. Eventually they will find out who you really are, and it will hurt more in the long run. Be yourself, and you can be confident that your boyfriend or girlfriend cares about the real you.
Being On Time For A Date
Nothing can make a person appear more self-centered than being inconsiderate of others time. That is especially true when you are meeting a date. Being on time for a date shows that you respect their time...and that you are excited for the date to begin! If you are chronically late for dates, it can send the message that you don't care about the person, even if that is far from the truth. If you are going to be late, be sure to call your date and let them know...and don't make it a habit.
What Are You Thinking About?
Many a mother has taught her daughter to never reveal her true feelings to a boy that she is dating. It's all part of the 'dating game'...or so they have said. Unfortunately, playing the dating game is playing with another person's feelings. Being honest and letting the other person know exactly how you feel -- and where you think the relationship is headed -- avoids a lot of hurt feelings, confusion and heartache. True, game playing may make you appear more mysterious to your friends, but being honest will make you more lovable to that special someone that you are no doubt looking for.
Dating Tips: Don'ts
There are lots of dating do's; here are are a few 'do nots' for the first (or any) date. 1. Avoid anything elaborate – plans and situations that are too intricate leave too much room for disaster during a first date. 2. Avoid appearing distracted or not looking into your date's eyes. 3. Don't be boastful; nothing ruins a date more than needless pretension. 4. Don't use the date as personal therapy. The point of the first date is to get to know someone – not to vent your frustrations, hang-ups or personal history. 5. Avoid being self-deprecating and always thank your date for any compliments. 6. Avoid talking about past relationships while on a date. Nothing ruins a first date more quickly than someone who can't stop talking about their ex. 7. Try not to be nervous on your date. A case of nerves can make the date awkward. Don't try to deal with nervousness by consuming alcohol, either; getting drunk will make the situation even more awkward. 8. Keep the first date short. If it's bad, you can both leave quickly; if it's good, you're both left wanting more.
Dating Choices
Everyday we make choices. Every choice we make affects the lives of others. Our choices may seem simple, but the reality is each choice we make has positive or negative consequences. In dating relationships we make choices on a regular basis. Consider the following choices that everyone who dates must make.
1) To treat the people we date with respect or not.
2) To be kind rather than mean.
3) To take advantage of the people you date or to refuse to hurt the people you date.
4) To be happy or sad on your dates.
5) To lift others up or tear them down.
6) To act like a gentleman or not.
7) To act like a lady or not.
8) To send value into the hearts of your dates or not.
9) To abuse someone (emotionally, verbally, physically, sexually) or not.
These are choices we make all of the time. They may seem simple, when in reality these choices affect how close we get to others. They also affect how intimate we become in our relationships.
Dating Tips: Appearing Needy
You meet someone for the first time, you immediately connect, and you feel so close to him or her that you immediately bare all the angst of your childhood. While it sounds romantic, it is also incredibly foolish. We have all had our struggles in life – it's part of what makes us all unique and (hopefully) interesting people; however, we are also so much more than our struggles – someone who simply defines themselves by the bad things in their life is only half a person. So, here's a dating tip: during your first date, or perhaps your first three dates, you might want to reign in the heavy-handed conversation. Talk about things that interest and matter to you. But you have to remember that intense, successful connections develop over time, and you have to be willing to give them time to develop.
Why Do We Date?
Men and women date for many different reasons -- companionship, fun, sex, social interaction -- but in the end most dating leads to one thing: marriage. In a 2000 Census report, researchers found that 90-95 percent of all Americans will eventually marry. Thus, the most common outcome for those who date is marriage. In our teen years, we date to get to know someone else better. Dating at this stage is also for recreation. As we get older, we date looking for deeper connections and intimacy. At this stage dating becomes more complex as we have to develop our relationships skills (i.e. communication, problem solving). One of the final steps of dating is finding someone that we want to be with always. This leads to the final steps, engagement and marriage. In the final analysis, I dating and marriage are a personal search for being loved and cared for by another person.
Overcoming Personal Fears
Everyone has their own personal beliefs about relationships. Some women, for example, believe that you cannot trust men. Some men believe that women only want a man who has money. Others believe that the only reason men date is to for sex. What are your beliefs about relationships? Do you believe that relationships can be good? Do you believe that men/women are trustworthy? How are these beliefs affecting you and your relationships? If you take some time to answer these questions, you will understand a lot more about yourself and how your beliefs may be sabotaging your dating life.
What Is Etiquette?
By definition etiquette is "conventional requirements as to proper social behavior." In our culture today, many of the 'proper social behaviors' are changing; however, observing dating etiquette is the polite thing to do, especially on a first date when you do not know the person's particular stand on 'proper social behavior.' In dating relationships, it is still considered polite for men to open doors for women, but going 'dutch' or taking turns paying for meals is more widely accepted. Both men and women now take turns making plans for the dates, and both are expected to contribute to the conversation, without one taking the lead. Once you know a person better, you can adapt the rules of dating etiquette to what works best for you and makes you the most comfortable together.
Why Do We Date?
Why do we date? For many reasons.
1. Dating is often simple recreation, an end in itself.
2. Dating is a way to gain social status based on whom and how often you date. You can raise your status within your peer group.
3. Dating is an opportunity for the sexes to learn about one another.
4. Dating meets ego needs. YOu need to be understood and considered important. Being asked for a date or being accepted involves understanding one another to some extent.
5. Dating leads to marriage! Most young people do not begin each date by asking, "Will I marry this person?" but eventually they will.
Advanced Planning
Spontaneity is a wonderful thing, but not always when you have a date on the calendar. A nice evening usually requires some preparation. When you ask out a date, it is a good idea to make plans. For example, if you are going out to eat, make reservations. Discuss your plans with your date before hand so he/she can prepare as well. It is good to tell a date what time you will pick them up and what time you expect to have them home. Even if you have been dating someone for a long period of time, you should still take the time to plan ahead. It shows you care and you will have more fun because you put more thought and caring into the process.
Hints, Tips and Tricks
Have you ever become frustrated with someone you're dating because they don't say what they mean or what they want? Your partner may think this behavior is 'cute' or 'mysterious,' but dropping hints or beating around the bush causes more problems than it does fascination. Being honest with your girlfriend or boyfriend shows that you respect them and their feelings; hints and tricks and tips are ultimately hurtful and can damage the relationship long-term. Be honest with your mate, and you are more likely to keep them around longer.
Does Spirituality Matter?
Does religion really matter? Many couples ignore this aspect during dating because they feel that their love will solve any differences. But once they are married, and children enter the picture, people tend to return to the traditions that their families followed while they were growing up. That's when religion can re-enter the picture and problems can start. When you and your dating partner begin to get serious, conversations on religion should begin as well. Better to realize any non-negotiable problems before you get married than years down the road.
Why Do You Want To Date Me?
Have you ever asked someone why they are dating you? If you haven't, you might want to start. It will tell you many things about them. You will learn what they like about you. You will also learn what the person you are dating values in relationships. If they like your personality and the way you make them laugh, then you know what they would want you do to more of if your relationship became more serious. In reality, by asking someone why they are dating you, you are gathering more information about them and learning what they like at the same time. If you like their response your relationship will probably grow. If you don't like their response, you don't have to waste time dating someone who doesn't like you for the right reasons.
Table Setting Etiquette
If you are cooking for your date at home, you want to make a good impression and show that you care. Simple things like setting the table can make that difference! From the left---little fork, big fork, plate, knife, spoon. The knife's sharp edge should be turned toward the plate; the napkin goes on the left under the forks. The glass goes above the spoon and knife. If you can remember the fork has four tines and the word 'left' is spelled with four letters, you will remember the fork goes on the left. If you have a salad plate, it goes above the fork.
Guide to Dating: Attitude
Approach online dating like you approach any new and exciting venture -- with gusto! A halfhearted effort will only produce mediocre results. Select an online dating service and fill out the materials involved. Flesh out your personal profile – make sure that it is precise; you don't want to generate responses from people who don't match your interests. Be frank about yourself and what you are looking for; this will keep you from being disappointed later on. Once you have a working profile, engage all of the search and communication resources that the site has to offer. Look for people who share you common interests and don't hesitate to contact them. Good luck!
Guide to Dating: Desperation
Thinking online dating is desperate is so 1990's. Now that we are officially in the 21st centure, no online dater would consider themselves pathetic. In today's fast-paced world, we simply do not have time to meet new people. The constraints of work and our regular social lives leave us with little time to pursue activities to meet new people. Also, many of us have explored the limits of our social network. Online dating provides a quick and efficient way of expanding your social circle. It allows you to quickly meet new people who share your interests without having to go to extraordinary lengths.
