Read these 23 Flirting & Getting A Date Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Date tips and hundreds of other topics.
Eye contact is very important when dating, and a critical flirting tip. So many emotions, especially those dealing with interest, are conveyed through the eyes. Too little eye contact can lead your date to think that you're not interested in them, while too much eye contact can seem creepy and make your date feel uncomfortable. You have to maintain eye contact during the date, in order to convey your interest. When looking at your date, always look at their face, unless you are commenting on a specific piece of clothing or jewelry. Remember to gaze gently at your date – staring at them will come across as too intense, and may make them a little uncomfortable.
How can you "get a girl?" First, stop using the phrase. It has a derogatory meaning and most girls don't like it. Second, figure out what type of girl you want to like you. Typically men and women date people who are similar to them (in looks, confidence, economic status, religious beliefs and values). Next, it is also a good idea to seek someone who you are attracted to. But the most important way to make a girl like you is to learn who you are. Then you will be confident in developing healthy relationships. The most attractive people are the ones who know who they are and treat others with respect.
Being shy is nothing to be ashamed of, but in order to meet new people, it is something you have to overcome. In the beginning, you will need to place yourself in situations that make you a little uncomfortable, forcing yourself to speak when you would rather be silent. But you can learn a lot by practicing things you might say. Practice...practice...practice. Practice them in your mind until you are comfortable with what the words. Then take those words out for a spin! Once you are finished with the phone call, observe what you did well what didn't go so well, then work on the things you feel you can improve in the future.
We live in a democracy, but it's funny how class distinctions rear their ugly head where dating is concerned. Suddenly certain boys and girls are 'better' or 'too good' for others. Remember, the only one making that distinction is you. If you want to ask out a girl -- regardless of her 'class,' do so, being confident that she will say yes. She'll be more likely to say yes to someone who is confident. And who knows? She may not get asked out all that often because many boys think the same way you do. Take a chance. You may have a date with a girl 'way out of your league' this weekend.
Asking a girl out on a date and being successful may depend more upon you than the girl. First decide what type of girl you are interested in. It is good to ask people that you know, that have shown some interest in you and who have similar interests as you. Once you choose to ask a girl out, it is a good idea to know a little about her. Get some background information about her from friends. Asking can be done by using a creative approach (flowers, a poem, a small note or phone call), but once you have chosen a method, just do it. In some situations you might be rejected, but keep trying. Consider that 85 percent of all people who ask girls out on a date already know enough about the girl that they feel comfortable that the girl will go out with them.
Do you often find your foot in your mouth when you're talking to someone you really like? You are not alone. Lots of people get tongue-tied in romantic situations. Try these suggestions to loosen those knots! 1. Plan to make a few mistakes, and when you make a mistake, don't focus on it. 2. Don't overtalk. Most people make their biggest mistakes by saying more than they should. 3. If you don't know what you want to say, take some time to evaluate. Many people say things before they process how they really feel. 4. If you really like someone, tell them. There is nothing wrong with being open and honest with someone. If they are worth your time, they will either respond in a positive manner or they will politely decline your offer.
I understand I must love myself before I can love others.
I understand I must be open so I can open others unto themselves.
I understand I must be honest if I expect that of my friends.
I understand I must speak truth if I am to hear the truth spoken.
I understand that I must reach out ot people if I am to be touched.
I understand I must share If I am to be given.
I understand my knowledge must be used if I am to grow.
I understand you must have freedom if I am to be free.
Somewhere between 80-90 percent of all first dates occur after two people show each other a little attention. People typically do not ask someone out that they do not know. So if you want to ask someone out, it's a good idea to try talking with the person first or, at the very least, establish a little eye contact. In general, most people can get a feel for whether someone would want to date them or not. If you do not know whether the person is interested in you, take a little more time and try to interact with them before you ask them out. Do they respond to your attempts at communication? Do they flirt with you? Do they smile at you? Are they open with you? Answer these questions and you will know if someone is interested in you.
Men and women are definitely created equal, but women have been asking men out for way fewer years. So it's natural to be a nervous about taking the plunge. To make things a little easier on yourself, plan an activity with a group of friends and invite the guy along. Just tell him that you and some friends are getting together and you were wondering if he would like to join you as your date. It's still clear you're together, but all those friends will be a great buffer if things go awry. Good luck!
There is one cognitive behavioral trick used by psychologists that may help tone down the blushing and make you feel more relaxed. It takes some practice but it's worth it to reach your goal.
Sometimes looking at your fears in an exaggerated way can help alliviate the painfulness of the thoughts so that you relax. Asking yourself what is the worst thing that can happen and then imagine it happening will help take away some of the agonizing fear of making a mistake or not looking natural because it will help you see how unlikely that it will happen and that it's not the end of the world if you are not perfect.
Also, remember that we tend to think it is worse than it really is and beat up on ourselves while others may notice some redness or blush and yet not see it as a big deal.
Another goal to practice is to have a ready answer if someone does mention the blushing such as: it's warm in here or I'm shy and I like you.
Blushing is common and not always seen as a problem but as an endearing quality. However, if you feel it interferes with a normally functioning life, there are medicines that may help when prescribed by a doctor.
Everyone wants somebody to love (or so the song goes). But is everyone ready to be loved? Is everyone ready to date? If you hesitated when answering this question, you probably need to answer a few others first. What are you doing to increase your chances of getting a date? There are lots of resources, both traditional and online, that are available to help you meet people. Second, are you preparing yourself to be a good dating partner? When you do start dating, you'll want to be ready to talk about yourself, your interests and local and national issues. And third, do you have confidence in yourself? If you invest some time in these three areas, you will be more likely to succeed once you begin dating.
Asking someone out takes confidence. In fact, people who are more confident are more likely to get a first date. Why is this so? How we communicate -- both verbally and non-verbally -- determines our success. Have you ever analyzed what verbal and non-verbal messages you send to perspective dating partners? Practice direct eye contact, a strong voice with inflection, confident posture and gestures, and you will appear more confident to your prospective dates. This should help you feel more confident and hopefully, send you on your way on more first dates.
Where can you find a date? The answer is: everywhere. Dates are not reserved to smokey bars; you can meet people at airport gates, grocery store aisles, laundromats, your local coffee shop -- you name it! You simply have to be open to not only meeting people but talking to them. So the next time you are standing in line anywhere, turn off your iPod and stop reading the newspaper. Look up and the people around you. There are lots of them to talk to. And who knows? If you are interested and nice and ready to meet someone, you just might!
If you're in a bar and you want to send a girl a drink as a means of letting her know that you find her attractive and that you'd like to get to know her, you need to follow a couple of simple rules.
1. Send the drink over, but don't sit there and stare at her or immediately go up to her table. Wait for the waiter to bring her drink and when she looks over at you give her a nod and a smile. Wait a few minutes to see if she approaches you.
2. If she doesn't approach you, feel free to go over and confidently introduce yourself and ask if you can sit down. If she says yes, sit down and begin a conversation. If she says no, walk away and forget about it.
Dating is a skill. It takes practice, it takes confidence and it takes the desire to be a better person. To evaluate what you can do to be a better dating partner, ask yourself:
1) What character traits are my strengths?
2) How can I use my strengths to get dates?
3) How can I meet people with similar values to mine?
Once you have completed this list, you have a game plan for improving your dating skills and outcomes.
Loving oneself is an important factor in developing dating skills. Below are some behaviors that are present when someone truly loves him or herself:
a) acknowledging and praising yourself verbally--to yourself
b) surrounding yourself with people who nourish you
c) developing your creative drives
d) having fun
e) surrounding yourself with beauty
f) creating an abundant network of friends
g) rewarding yourself
h) having confidence in your abilities
i) letting yourself win
j) following your own intuition
k) seeing your own perfection
l) taking credit for what you did
m) seeing yourself as equal to others
n) letting in affection
If you truly love yourself, you exude an air of confidence and good will that makes you more attractive to potential dating partners. So, love yourself!
People today don't put a lot of store in rules of etiquette. Life has become a little bit looser, a little more freeform. But when you ask someone out on a date, you still want to give them plenty of notice. Traditionally, it is considered bad manners to call any later than Thursday for a Saturday date (Wednesday for Friday). This may seem antiquated, but it shows a certain level of respect for the person you are interested in. Once you have been dating for a while and are considered a 'couple,' this maxim drops away and the two of you can make your own rules.
You like her. She's dating him. It may seem like an impossible situation. But remember, dating isn't married. The younger you are, the less likely it is that her relationship will last too long. The best thing you can do is be the best you possible, be the best friend to her possible and be patient. And if an opportunity arises for you to let her know how you feel, take it. Knowing your feelings may be the only push she needs to leave her current relationship and give you a try.
Men and women may be from different planets, but there are still ways to interpret the signals they send each other. When observing the male of the species, watch what he says and does around you. If you don't have any idea if he likes you, try to interact with him more. If he flirts or responds to you, he probably likes you. You could also have friends ask him if he likes you. (This is more common in high school or junior high.) The quickest way to find out is to ask him out. When you are dating, watch his body language. Obviously physical signs such as holding hands and kissing should mean that he is interested.
Do you have fears about dating? Many people have such fears -- such as saying the wrong thing or not knowing what to do or say -- so you are not alone. The best way to prepare yourself is to think about situations that may arise and come up with possible responses. If you have made mistakes while dating in the past, think through ways you could have more effectively responded in those same situations. 'Be prepared' is the best way to deal with your dating fears. But hopefully you can still be a little spontaneous, too.
Men and women like being asked out in creative ways. To impress the person you are asking out, consider:
1) writing a poem or greeting card
2) sending a small gift with an invitation
3) decorating the front door of their house, apartment or dorm room
4) sending them tickets to one of their favorite events
5) finding out what they enjoy doing and planning a date around their interests
The more the date is designed around their interests, the more creative they will find it...and the more likely they are to say 'YES!'
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|